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Employee notice

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  • December 11, 2017, 01:57:13 AM
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Author Topic: Employee notice  (Read 856 times)

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karen 2

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Employee notice
« on: April 19, 2012, 05:40:26 PM »

Dear Employee,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS  (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse)

or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SH*T (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

The government has always prided themselves on the amount of SH*T they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH*T, please bring this to the attention of your local Member of Parliament who has been trained to give you all the SH*T you can handle.


Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives

(E.V.I.L.)
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions,

the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been switched off.
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karen

LesleyR

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Employee notice
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2012, 06:08:00 PM »

Ha ha ha very clever 😂😉


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Piker(Stevie)

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Re: Employee notice
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2012, 06:27:48 PM »

 :rofl: :rofl:
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mary

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Re: Employee notice
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2012, 09:07:03 PM »

 :rofl:  :rofl: good one Karen
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Irene

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Re: Employee notice
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2012, 10:33:34 AM »

Brillliant - and not too far from the truth lol
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Lesley N

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Re: Employee notice
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2012, 07:12:29 PM »

thats really good......light at the end of the tunnel...... :rofl: :rofl:
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A smile goes a long way, it cheers your heart.  Kindness is the best present in the world.

karen 2

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Employee notice
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2012, 09:21:51 PM »

You can Lunt on me for the dirty jokes.   Ha ha ha  xxx
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karen

karen 2

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Employee notice
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2012, 09:22:18 PM »

Oops count   Ha ha iPad took over
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karen

bats

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Re: Employee notice
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2014, 05:41:50 AM »

well put together and a lot of it true

alan
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