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Women V Men !!!

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Author Topic: Women V Men !!!  (Read 1084 times)

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Sas

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Women V Men !!!
« on: April 15, 2012, 06:07:31 PM »

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.



Keep reading - they get better!!!

WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me. And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm never going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

And still be afraid of a spider.

 MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor.

'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'

He addressed the man,

'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?'

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

Neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

 WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day....

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.'

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

 CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.'


His wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me.

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.'

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

Should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'


The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and

you should do it because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him

at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

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Live, love..................and laugh a lot. xxx

Lydia

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Re: Women V Men !!!
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2012, 06:21:08 PM »

 :rofl: :rofl: very good  :rofl: :rofl:
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karen 2

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Women V Men !!!
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2012, 07:37:57 PM »

Hanha ha ha very good
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karen

glynn

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Women V Men !!!
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2012, 08:07:03 PM »

Brilliant
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Marley                          Poppy


Whatever you're doing today, do it with a smile.

Mandi

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Women V Men !!!
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2012, 09:29:35 PM »

:rofl:
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Whatever your doing today, do it with a smile and remember, there are thousands of people who would want to be in your shoes

i smile cause you have all finally driven me insane!

tracey1966

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Re: Women V Men !!!
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2012, 08:25:28 PM »

women power  ;cheers: :hi5:
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Re: Women V Men !!!
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2012, 08:48:32 PM »

pfffffft!!!
 :rofl: :rofl:
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emca

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Re: Women V Men !!!
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2012, 09:22:28 PM »

:) :) :) :) fantastic

Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
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tracey1966

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Re: Women V Men !!!
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2012, 10:13:54 AM »

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adinafloyd

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Re: Women V Men !!!
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2012, 08:46:50 PM »

 :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:
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Tis I Jason !

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Re: Women V Men !!!
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2012, 08:51:43 PM »

tsk tsk lol :biggrin:
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