So quite often we get asked,
“I’m male/female, is it better to choose a male african grey or a female, which one will take to me best”
Quite often you will hear people telling you if you’re a female then a male bird would bond with you better, sometimes you hear a female will and visa versa if you are male.
Controversially my stance is a little different on this topic, we’ve had many birds come and go through our doors what with the increasing quantities of rescue parrots we are taking on, and the occasional bird we have bred, truly and honestly the answer to the question is that I really don’t think it matters what sex your parrot is, they both have extremely similar personalities, are amiable and just as easy to bond with, given the right conditions.
When I say the right conditions what I mean to say is if you think of it in human terms, just because you’re a female/male does that mean that you can and will only bond with one sex, whether that sex be a male or a female …. I’d say no … right?
Well as we know African Greys are highly intellectual animals with the brain power of a small child, well when you see kids at school (please don’t go hanging around school playgrounds to verify this, but trust me as a parent to 5 children) that kids do not just hang/play with one sex and neither for that case will your African Grey.
So when people contact us asking to buy an African Grey parrot, it astounds me the amount of people that also have strong tendencies to want to buy a specific sex, purely on the basis of all this hearsay that parrots are more likely to prefer you if you are the “right sex”, seriously from my experience, and I don’ care if the scientists want to argue the point, the sex of your parrot really doesn’t matter.
What really matters is the amount of time you are going to spend with the bird, quite often you hear that people say my bird is a one person bird, but why is that I hear you ask, is it your sex or is it that the person your grey likes the most is the one that gives it the most attention and feels less negative towards.
These animals are seriously clever and really do pick up on negativity and if you feel negative about a bird liking you well don’t be surprised if your bird doesn’t pick up on that fact, and lets just say, not be your best friend, just like kids at school there’s always some kid that is difficult to get on with and naturally what do you do if you don’t seem to be able to connect with someone, you tend to keep clear of them, but in the grand scale of things is that the best policy or should you perhaps just work a little harder on that relationship to make it work.
So to conclude sex really doesn’t matter, the most important thing is time, persistence, having an open mind and most importantly give and take and your parrot whether it’s male or female will learn to take to you, something we can talk about in more depth another time!
Thank you so much for your article. I so wanted Carly my African Grey to respond to me but she preferred my husband who works nights so is with her during the day whilst I work, reading your article has given me hope that the more games and interaction plus positive attitude can change a relationship of uncertainty and loads of bites to one of trust and friendship, depending how much time and effort I want to put into it and being female has nothing to do with her prefering my husband to me.
Thanks for all the help you give us new owners, I really appreciate your site.
Clair
I think you are right but my Jaco was abused by a women so although I love him to bits and never get upset when he bites me, I dont allow him to chase me away I dont shout when I am hurt, so he is getting better, because I know his behaviour. He is great with my husband. I have thought that also it depends on who brings them up from babies, if its a wome3n giving them all the love then maybe they prefer a women. Just a thought Chris
How very interesting. My bird was reared and fed by a man. On entering the aviary though she flew straight to me not my partner who was actually buying her as a pet. My partner was a little scared of her and she knew it from the start. She was so gentle with me and when I left my partner she wasn’nt allowed out of the cage because whe would bite him hahaha. I eventually kidnapped her and we have lived happily ever after ever since. She will not allow anybody else touch her male or female
Patsy
I tend to agree with you Paula. My Willow is male. I care for my husband who has limited movement in his hands, so isn’t able to handle Willow. When he does offer his hand for Willow to step-up the response is far from a loving one, however when my husband sits close to the cage Willow will come closer and they seem to get along better. I suppose you have to go with the flow.
Alison.
I tottaly agree, I’m a woman and my african grey is female, we get on so well as I’m the one who spend most of my time with her, sex doesn’t matter!
Do african grey female talk? or it is better to get a male…they say the talk more..
Im only 11 years old but i take great care of animals and love them.
I want to get an African Grey, but i have a question, on the first night you have bought your parrot, does it scream? Does it make any loud noises at night?
I shall hope not, coz my mum will just go CRAZY and i have a little sis who has naps during the day.
What to do if parrot starts yelling?
I bought my bird at the age of three months old and named him Sam, he is now almost eight months old, strangely enough he bonded with me since the very first day I brought him home. I agree that sex of your african grey does not matter. He is rather good with the family too and tends to go to other family members as well, sometimes only when I put him on there hand or arm. Sam can be noisy at times and starting to say some words already. Depending on how you raise them by giving love and attention, they are great companions too have around. – Jerome (-: